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BALBOA PARK – A man in his late 20’s was seen practicing Kung Fu beneath a cottonwood tree on the west side of Balboa Park around 2 p.m.  Witnesses said he really kicked ass, demonstrating intense self-control, bitchin’ Chinese fan tricks, and a deep kinetic yen of both poetry and subtle cosmic principles.

“Shit was like Bruce Lee and shit,” noted jogger Leon McKraddy, 33.

The Sunshine Ninja, as six-year-old Beth Sanderson called him, reportedly wore toe boots and a black t-shirt bearing the name of a metal band which nobody has ever heard of.

“It was totally awesome,” said transient Charles Kaye, 20.  “Here I was thinking cartwheels were the thing, but, I mean, cha!”

Kaye called the Sunshine Ninja an “obvious preverberation from the future” and “the man!  Not ‘The Man’, man, but, you know, the man!”

Around 2:51 p.m., the Sunshine Ninja was heard to mutter something about “those fucking pirates” before vanishing entirely in a puff of smoke.

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